A musical based on the Jerry springer show. Coming to the Opera House. I can’t decide if this is repulsive, or if I actually might want to see it. I have no more words to describe my thoughts at the moment.

So anyways, I go about my business, talking to my mom and niece on the phone when someone finally knocks on my door about 5 minutes later. I open it up looking SUPER scuzzy in my sweats and my shirt with a big toothpaste mark on it from this morning. Not to mention my hair is greasy, my legs are hairy and I wasn’t wearing a bra. (Hey I work from home so no need to get dressed or look pretty)! So there’s this cool looking girl at the door with some papers in her hand and I’m immediately curious. Who is this and why is she here?

She starts talking a bit and I respond a bit and then she says “oh you’re not from here either”- It was only then… after she had talked awhile and pointed out MY accent… that I realized she had a north american accent. I can’t help it, all accents sound normal to me these days.

I realize so far this story makes ME sound like the very unaware person- but it’s really her that I’m speaking of in the topic title.

So we converse some more and talk about where we are from, etc. Turns out she is from Canada. She had heard me through the door as I was on the phone with my niece and I was saying “So did your president win??” (My 5 year old niece voted for obama on the nickelodeon site even though her parents wanted mccain- she said it was because he has a cool name and he likes horses). ANYWAYS… the girl told me she heard me talking through the door and I said “oh yeah yeah” chuckled a bit and then this is what came out of her mouth next…

“So, who won?”

Um.. REALLY? Has she been living under a rock the last few days??? Even though this girl was totally nice and was really cute and trendy looking, I immediately thought she was a total moron.

My response (excitedly) was “OBAMA!”- then she said politely “oh, ok! well, I’m from Jehova’s witness…”

I’m guessing that she wouldn’t have been too excited about Obama with her being from a strict religious background- that is if she even knew ANYTHING about the candidates, which could be highly unlikely.

Blah. My excitement that a new potential friend just landed on my doorstep immediately went out the window.

A.) She doesn’t know who won the election

B.) Even though I respect people’s religious choices, I personally cannot be any part of a religion that doesn’t let me celebrate christmas and birthdays!

She was cool though, she just gave me her pamphlet and we chatted some more about visas for Australia. She was then talking about getting sponsored, etc. and mentioned that she could be a nanny. I said “that might be good considering the timing of the ABC Learning daycare* crashing…”

I don’t know WHAT I was thinking even mentioning that to her. If she didn’t know about Obama, she DEFINITELY wouldn’t know about that!

Sometimes I REALLY wonder what goes on in people’s brains.

*For the Americans…ABC Learning could be going under and it is a big news story at the moment

They decided to take a seat on the wall out front while they smoked their cigarettes and stumbled around trying not to fall over… as drunk, obnoxious teenagers do.

And WHY must the girls scream at the top of their lungs? Are they really THAT deaf? Literally… SCREAMING and YELLING at your friends who are 3 feet away is very unnecessary.

Then they started pushing over this little fence that’s on the sidewalk blocking some pipe or something. Destroying property is always a “smart” idea… but of course, that’s what drunk obnoxious teenagers do!

Then I was even more entertained as one of the boys and one of the girls stood in the middle of the street fighting. This was the good stuff! I couldn’t hear what they were saying, but I found it amusing when the boy looked like he spat in the girl’s face. Then she ran back sobbing to all of her friends still perched on our wall and started mumbling about how “he just doesn’t understand.” CLEARLY neither does she- or any teenagers for that matter. Oh I wish they could all see how stupid they look.

Andrew said we should throw an egg at them.

I have to say, my favorite part of the entire 10 minute voyeuristic adventure was when one of our neighbors decided to take things into his own hands to get rid of these punks. He yelled out his window to try to get them to leave. But it wasn’t a “hey, can you keep it down” or “move along kids, we’re trying to sleep.” Nah, that’s not how they do it here in Australia.

Instead, he yelled “OI! FUCK OFF KIDS!”

That was my thought exactly. I’m pretty sure it was the sobbing teenage girl who replied so politely (as drunk, obnoxious teenagers do) by saying “Fuck off and go back into your apartment, we’re just trying to have some fun on Halloween!”

I miss the good old days when we were 15… STILL dressing up… and STILL more interested in getting as much candy as possible than getting wasted with our lame ass friends.

Happy Halloween to my friends and family back in the states. I’m really missing out this year!

1. I accidentally said “si” instead of yes at a Mexican restaurant when the cashier asked me a question. It just came out! I’ll be conversing in NO time!

2. If I could take Spanish every day for an hour- like they do in high school… I’d DEFINITELY be fluent after 4 years. But when I DID have this opportunity in high school… I just didn’t care enough to study! Oh, and I also didn’t take Spanish- I took French. So there’s no possible way I REALLY could be fluent in Spanish by now, so I don’t feel bad.

3. With that said, I think Spanish is WAY easier than French- but maybe that’s just because I was 15 and had a Nazi devil teacher when I tried to learn dear ol’ Francais. (Andrew thinks saying a French man was a Nazi is contradictory… so instead- I’ll just say that he was a giant dick)!

4. And… with THAT said, I’m surprised how much French still comes back to me while I’m in my Spanish class. I think I could easily get languages mixed up if I actually knew more than one.

5. I find myself singing Sublime songs in my head. That English/Spanish blend always had me thrown for a loop. I never understood anything- but that didn’t stop me from singing some butchered “Spanish” right along while driving in my car. But now, I’m starting to actually understand bits and pieces of the songs. So I just repeat those lines in my head over and over and over… it’s kinda driving me nuts.

6. On that note… do you know the Aussies I’ve met (Ok maybe I’ve only ever tested this with Andrew) have never heard of Sublime? Seriously… how have you not heard of Sublime??? I’d like to point out they aren’t my favorite band or anything- so I’m not really sure why I’ve just mentioned them TWICE in one single blog.

6. I still would like to go to some Latin country for 4 weeks to learn Spanish. I was planning on doing that 2 years ago, but then I met a certain someone and came to a certain country in the southern hemisphere for 5 weeks instead!

7. I’m AMAZED at how much Spanish I already know just from growing up in southern California.

8. Aussies have the HARDEST time pronouncing Spanish words. I feel bad for them.

9. The enchiladas and guacamole I make are freaking wonderful! (ok, I didn’t really realize that after taking my Spanish class, I always knew that).

10. I don’t really know why I want to learn Spanish so bad. It will do me no good here. I guess I’ll have to travel a lot.

You see, if you were to buy a gallon of gas here in Sydney, you would be paying around $5.48 per gallon!

Now who wants to complain about gas prices??

 

• Driving on the left side?  – Nah…I think I’m getting used to thatÂ

• Remembering that the blinker is on the right so that I don’t actually turn the windshield wipers on every time I turn… Yep I think I’ve got that one down! Didn’t screw up once yesterday!Â

• Looking at the speedometer to find I’m going 100??? Oh wait… that’s KPH… still feels fast though!Â

• Checking the speed every 10 seconds to make sure I’m not going over the speed limit?? Ummm… I do think this might take the cake. Usually I don’t worry too much about speeding a little, but here in Australia there are speed cameras EVERYWHERE and you really CAN’T speed or else you WILL get a ticket. Yup, this was the toughest for me on this long drive!Â

I did notice about 20-25 minutes into the drive that I hadn’t looked in my rearview mirror ONCE!! I only noticed when I FINALLY looked and realized I hadn’t adjusted it to where I could actually see. And I wondered why I couldn’t figure out if there were cars behind me. It’s just not natural yet to look up and left when I want to see the rear. 

 

Pronunciations:  I’m adding a new feature to my blog… Aussie pronunciation of the week (or day or whenever I see fit). I’ll start this week off with a few examples.

 

• Hyundai… here it is pronounced Heeunday
• Nissan… here it’s Nissin (like listen)

• Tortilla… tor till uh. I guess the Aussies just pronounce it how it is spelled, but it’s just SO funny to hear! (there’s really NO Mexican/Spanish influence in this country). 

Stay tuned for more fun pronunciations in future blogs! 

 

Creepy Crawlies: 

 

1. I saw a spider that looked like a tarantula in a web the other day. Literally it was probably a little smaller than the palm of my hand and it had furry legs. Could have been a Huntsman. Whatever… it was big and ugly and I’m so glad it was nowhere near my house.  

2. I really did not enjoy my visit from Mr. Lizard last week. He lead us on a wild goose chase for hours throughout the house. Andrew thought I was a big wuss… and guess what?? I WAS! Sorry… but I don’t want lizards anywhere near my bed, closet or anything else in my apt. for that matter! Thankfully with some amazing teamwork (ie. andrew doing all the work and me cheering him on), Mr. Lizard was caught and safely transported OUT of the building.  

3. evidently some mosquitoes live in toilets. I probably DON’T need to explain- but I will anyways. This week I got 4 mosquito bites on my butt. Weren’t there pre-pee… but then post-pee, they appeared. The damn mosquito was just chillin’ in the bowl waiting to take a bite out of my juicy butt. Luckily it wasn’t one of the evil Aussie Mossies that give you the bites that itch for A WEEK. Nah, these ones just lasted about a day! 

4. I saw a real live flying bat. I was sitting on our balcony awhile back with Andrew and saw what I thought was a bird, flying in the dark. Nope… not a bird. Is that weird to anyone else?? To see a bat with real bat wings and everything! I’ve never seen one close enough to actually see the shape of the wings. Freaky. 

By big boats I mean the Queen Elizabeth 2 and the Queen Victoria cruise ships. This was the last visit to Sydney for the QE2 before it turns into a floating hotel in Dubai…and the first (maiden voyage) for Queen Victora. They passed by in the harbor and honked their horns or whatever boats do. So I thought… hmm I guess this is special- but I still don’t see what the big deal is.

Do you know how many people were there to watch this?? I swear all of Sydney. Cruise boats come into Long Beach harbor every week and it’s no biggy. But for some reason, these ships are special and the fact that they passed each other in the harbor was very significant.Again… I don’t see the big deal.

Additionally, people kept saying “It’s the biggest cruise ship in the world.” (“oooh ahhh”) and while it did look big, I think I’d have to see it next to a carnival cruise ship to appreciate the size. Well, even that novelty was shot down when I came home and found out that the Queen Victoria is just 2/3 the size of the Queen Mary 2.

Anyways, here’s a picture of the Queen Victoria. When I left the Rocks and passed over the bridge on my way home today, I did catch a glimpse of the Queen Victoria leaving and the QE2 entering the harbor. Still… didn’t really see the big deal. I’m glad some people found it very special though. I only found it somewhat amusing because the rest of the city was so intrigued by it all.

Other than that, it was a BEAUTIFUL day! Much needed after the crap rain we’ve had for months. I spent the day with some friends from YDU and we all had a nice time. Andrew even came for part of it! We went bowling and walked around Darling Harbour and then of course headed to the rocks… to see the boats

I know SOMEONE will get annoyed with me for calling the cruise ships “boats” but I don’t care!

I honestly think Americans are becoming the whineyist (yes, that’s a word) bunch of people on earth. People seriously need to get over themselves, live their OWN lives and just stop worrying about the preferences of others.  I give the following examples to back up my statement:

• People whine that their kids say prayers in some schools. Then when they take prayer out of schools, people whine that their kids aren’t allowed to pray.
• People whine that their kids shouldn’t have to say “God” in the pledge of Allegiance.
• Easter Break as I once knew it has been morphed into Spring Break because people whined that Easter isn’t celebrated by all. But isn’t Easter the reason we started having a week holiday in the first place? We don’t celebrate autumn with an “autumn break.” I’m pretty sure if it weren’t for Easter- Spring break wouldnt exist. I could be wrong here… don’t feel the need to start giving me the real definition of spring break… i really don’t care- it’s not the point.
• Schools and work places now have to have holiday parties because people whine about using the word Christmas.
• A Christmas tree was actually taken down at an airport in Seattle because people whined about it. Seriously- since when is a Christmas tree offensive?
• Gay people can’t get married because religious people whine about it.

Now, I must say, I’m not complaining about other religions or anything, but seriously Pepsi even omitted the word “God” from their patriotic can awhile back because people threw a fit! I’m SOOOOO over whiney over-dramatic people. It’s like people got this freedom and they say times are changing and now all they want to do is bitch and moan about every little thing. Honestly, was anyone REALLY REALLY bothered that Pepsi had the pledge of allegiance on it’s can? If so… GET OVER IT!!! Drink Coke in protest! But seriously, just shut the hell up! If Coke started putting the Jewish star on their cans around Hanukkah, I wouldn’t care ONE bit. Seriously… who gives a shit!?!

Sometimes I feel like a high-stress person, but I realize I must be incredibly calm if other people on this earth are getting all hot and bothered about some of the lamest things.

America was obviously originally inhabited by Native Americans and then the Christian English people came over. They had their own views and as new people and religions landed on US soil, the country became more diverse. The problem is, all religions are different, people are different. You can’t please everyone- so instead of dealing with a few whiney people who bitch about the word God being on a Pepsi can, Pepsi chooses to take it off. I bet they lost more sales due to the people they pissed off by changing the pledge!

I bring all this up due to a speech I saw today. It was the Prime Minister of Australia giving a speech apologizing to the Aboriginals of Australia. The speech wasn’t what got to me. It was the fact that not only did the parliament hearing start off with a little blessing… but the blessing was then followed by the full Lord’s Prayer! You know, “Our Father, who art in Heaven…”

It seriously shocked me to see this kind of prayer in a government meeting. Andrew has explained to me that this country was built on Christian beliefs and people know when they come here that they can follow their own religions, but Australia as a nation is Christian. People don’t whine and moan about it because they knew that when they came here and they CHOSE to come here. People don’t  HAVE to come here or to the US. They make a choice. He also said that the government has basically stated to people that English is spoken in Australia so if you want to come here- learn English. In the US, our government is too afraid to call English our official language.

OK, I must point out that I’m not criticizing any religion. Religion actually has nothing to do with my point if you read it clearly enough. It’s just a matter of people bitching and moaning about every tiny thing that doesn’t work exaclty how they want it in THEIR lives. They just don’t care about what anyone else thinks or believes.

I wish people would all live their own lives and stop making such a fuss over such trivial unimportant things. I just want to shake people and tell them to GET OVER IT!!

Ok I’m ready for people and their opinionated comments here telling me I’m being one sided, blah blah. I’m only stating these things because I’ve come to see how different the US and Australia are and it really puts things into perspective for me.

End of Rant.

1. I pretty much like any dough/batter better than the actual baked end-result. But usually the end result is quite delish as well. Just check out my latest lemon glazed flower cupcakes that I made the other day (from scratch). They tasted as good as they look My thighs and ass have decided that I’m not allowed to bake anymore. ever.

PS… that’s lime zest for decoration if you were wondering why there is green shit all over the plate. It was beautiful.

2. I still recite “righty tighty, lefty loosey” in my head every time I need to open something.

3. I’m worthless at math. 1 kilogram = 2.2 lbs. Yet when I go to the gym and the machine asks me to enter my weight- I have no clue what to put.

4. Speaking of the gym… I LOVE the treadmills that have their very own built-in fans! Sorry Kent, I gotta knock our 24 hour because this equipment at my new gym is just so much better! (however; I think I’d rather go back to lower prices and lower quality).

5. Andrew’s brother Paul is staying at my house in California for the next few days. It’s weird that he gets to see my family, house, dog, etc. and I’m not there. Thanks to my dearest friends and family who are going out of their way to hang with him while he’s there!

6. I want a new camera. A nice one. I tried to take a picture of a purrrty Rainbow Lorikeet on my balcony the other day. My camera was so slow that I missed a perfectly good shot and was left with two shitty ones. Every time I tried to get one with his head up, my camera would lag and wouldn’t get the shot until mr. birdy moved. Ugh. Then he finally flew away. Stupid slow camera.

I’d like to point out that I think it is very cool that people have to go to the Long Beach Aquarium to see exhibits of these beautiful (yet horribly loud and annoying) birds and they just fly over to my balcony to say g’day to me.

9. I’m afraid to admit that I’m hooked on Gossip Girl. It’s practically the only show that didn’t get cut off in the strike. So over the last month I’ve downloaded the whole season. Doing this caused us to go over our gay Australian download limit and now my internet is slow until the month re-starts tomorrow. I should go download a crapload of stuff today so that it doesnt eat into next months retarded limit.

Last night, Andrew, Kate, Muzza and I all went to the Linkin Park concert. I know some of you are already thinking to yourselves… “WHY?” Well, in addition to being a hot pilot, Andrew also works for a radio station called Nova and he decided to work a shift at the concert. So he got paid for the night AND we all got free tickets. Can’t really pass that up.

Chris Cornell opened and while I think he has an awesome voice, he was boring as shit. I enjoyed listening to the 3 songs I knew… and wanted to fall asleep during the rest. Not discrediting him or anything- but it just didn’t do it for me. Plus he looked depressed and CRACKED out. Maybe that was just the rockstar look he was going for.

Linkin Park on the othe hand put on a really good show. Now, this doesn’t mean I actually enjoyed it all, but I still can appreciate that it was really good. They had a cool stage and lights (we all know I love me some light shows at a concert) but seriously, no matter how hard I try… I just CANNOT appreciate screaming. Ok, I take that back… andrew will freak at me if I say that. I CAN appreciate how hard it would be to scream like that and then also sing nicely without sounding like you just smoked 8 packs of cigs… but again, I can appreciate- but me still no likey. They played some songs I knew of course… the overplayed KROQ singles, but they played a lot of songs I didn’t know. Two of them were really nice slow songs and I really did enjoy those- I kept waiting for screaming to come ruin it… but it didnt…they just were nice the whole time. But one song- my personal fave included a piece where Chester screamed over and over “put me out of my misery…”

I knew JUST how he felt!

I think I enjoyed a few things about this show that I don’t normally see/hear in the US.

1. The guy on crack/E/too much redbull next to me who literally was dancing and jumping around like a maniac. No rhythm, no structure to his excitement. Just waved his arms around and jumped up and down looking like a monkey. I was just waiting for him to hit me on accident so I could give him the evil eye. I felt REALLY embarassed for his girlfriend. I just don’t see that in the US because I don’t typically go to shows like Linkin Park where the fans are cracked out nutheads.

2. I thought it was great when the whole crowed started cheering and chanting… “Kickin paw, kickin paw, kickin paw.” HUH???  Ummmm yeah turns out they were saying “Linkin Park” but it took my Aussie boyfriend to translate because to me- PARK has an R in the word…to Australians- it’ doesnt. Just sounded like Pawk.

3. The Wave. Do people actually still do the wave? Well in Australia, yes… they do. I love the wave. While I didn’t participate- Andrew and I had a chuckle for about 30 seconds while the wave went around the crowd about 4 times before people finally got over it. I’ve seen quite a few waves in my time at sporting events- but never at concerts.

Overall, I wasn’t totally miserable, but I can’t say it was the best thing ever. I’m glad Andrew really enjoyed himself and I could be with him- but again, the screaming just gave me a headache. Literally- I still have a really bad headache even now. When the encor came, I really felt for the true fans. I thought that they must be really sad knowing that this show, the one they were excited about for weeks, the one they spent $100 bucks on, was about to come to an end. I didn’t mind though, I was tired.

 

The Good:

1. ANDREW!

2. The weather is just getting warmer each day

3. Thai Intra and Bow Thai… yum

4. Jet lag actually is kind of nice when you come here. You get really tired at night- but then you sleep wonderfully and wake up extra early which is rare for me!

5. I can walk to the harbor and it is beautiful- better than watching football on the elipticals at the gym

6. Did I say Andrew?

 

The Bad:

1. In the US, we have Best Buy, Comp USA, Fry’s, etc. Here- they have something comparable to a semi-big Radio Shack. THAT’S IT!

2. At home, voltage converters cost 30 bucks. Here- 60+!

3. Small pizzas = $20 bucks.

4. I need to get a new skype phone because mine broke (crap) and it’s impossible to find somewhere that sells these (this sort of goes with #1).

5. My family and friends aren’t here.

6. Target here is just not the same. It’s more like Walmart. Sad.

 

The Weird:

1. Yellowtail wine… made in Australia. Costs MORE here than it does in California. HOW is that possible??

2. For some reason, my hair dries quicker here when I blow dry it.

3. They are talking about lowering the legal voting age to 16 here (which is also when you can legally move out of home)! Are 16 year olds really even that responsible? Let me answer that… NO!

4. There are birds here that will attack you. Literally will fly down from the trees and smack you in the head with their beak because they think you are going to hurt their nest. So you have to make eye contact with them and they won’t attack you. People even wear hats that have fake eyeballs on the back so that the birds think they are looking at them. Why does this place have such freaky animals??

 

 

From correspondents in Santiago

January 13, 2007 09:12am

The first 2 are from wine tasting at the beach (see blog below). The 3rd is me drinking some Aussie beer (Victoria Bitter) at Sinead’s and the last is obviously me driving… on the other side of the road…scary!! hehe.

 

Š

Just read on…

Andrew says:
what did u have for dinner

Elsja says:
chicken wth rice and broccoli

Elsja says:
and then we made smores

Andrew says:
smore?

Elsja says:
oooo

Elsja says:
you dont have smores?

Andrew says:
want smore dinner?

Elsja says:
um no

Andrew says:
never heard of them

Andrew says:
maybe we do but a different name

Elsja says:
you toast marshmallows and put it between 2 graham crackers and a piece of chocolate

Andrew says:
nah never had it or heard of it

Andrew says:
sounds made up

Elsja says:
oh

my

god

Andrew says:
i dont know what a graham cracker is

Elsja says:
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Andrew says:
like just a jatz type thing?

Elsja says:
a jatz?

Andrew says:
hahahaha

Andrew says:
we suck

 

A country without s’mores. Who would have ever thought???