I’ve got ONE more day to talk about. One more sandy, hilly day to write about, then I’m done. Done writing about mountains and hills and sand dunes and pain. But that also means I’ll be done writing about some of the greatest fun I’ve had throughout all my travels.

Our last day in Namibia consisted of getting up after sunrise (hallelujah) and jumping in a safari type vehicle for one last tour. We headed out to Sandwich Harbour on the Skeleton Coast. First a little info on the Skeleton Coast. We wondered where it got that name, but after driving a few kilometers, we quickly could SEE why. There were dead animals and skeletons everywhere. We saw a skeleton of a sea turtle, a seal corpse and craziest of all… HUMAN remains. I know that sounds nuts but there they were, just lying there on the sand.  Our guide explained that they are clearly VERY old from the towns that used to exist under the sand dunes and people just leave them be. Amazing! No, we didn’t get photos of human bones. I think we were all too shocked that we didn’t even think of pulling out the camera.

Anyways, back to the tour… The driver took us on a wild ride over the dunes. There was one point where we came screeching to a halt (if you could actually screech in sand) and within inches of the front of the vehicle, there was a steep drop off. All of us thought we narrowly escaped death. We couldn’t believe that the crazy driver came that close to going over the edge. When we all questioned “what do we do now?” and “where do we go from here” his reply was, “we go down.” WHAT? This guy must be mad!  But then we started down the hill. Granted, we went very slowly- but it was still crazy. The angle was SO steep, it definitely felt like we were on some sort of ride. We tried to get a photo, but the camera just cannot capture the depth and angle and of the dunes. Just look at how massive and amazing they are…

The rest of the day was spent observing nature and our surroundings. Sandwich Bay is home to thousands of flamingos and other birds. There was also a little lake right near the dunes and these massive fish kept jumping out of the water. Our guide told us that they jump to get away from their predators (sharks). It was amazing to think there were sharks in this small lake, but it was true- we even saw one with our own eyes.

Of course it wouldn’t be a day in Namibia without a hike up a massive sand dune. Even though we walked up so many dunes on our trip, they were all so different, its hard to explain. As always, running down the dune was much more fun than walking up!

Namibia wasn’t one of those places you go to sip cocktails and relax. I can honestly say that Namibia was probably the most physically and mentally challenging trip I’ve ever taken. Between waking up most days before the sun and climbing mountains and sand dunes every day- I was exhausted at the end of it all. Luckily we were able to enjoy one last beautiful evening in Namibia enjoying a sunset and a BBQ. I will forever have fond memories of this trip.  The laughter, sweat and tears (yes there were tears) all worked together to help make this a trip of a lifetime.

The morning after a day of climbing the dunes in Sossusvlei, we got on the road early to head to Swakopmund. We had to be there by 1:00 or so in order to make our appointment for quad biking and sandboarding. The drive was probably my favorite drive of the trip. There were just so many things to look at and the landscape was different after every hour of driving. We even saw completely wild giraffes. We made a little stop (we had a bit of time) to get out of the car and get closer to the giraffes. (Notice Andrew’s self-defense tools in case any of the nearby springbok decided to attack).

We then kept on driving which was when we blew out the tire.  We did NOT have time for this. We were already cutting it close if we wanted to make it to our quad biking tour so the guys worked quickly and efficiently to get the tire changed. We pulled into Swakopmund with NO time to spare. We had to eat though so we stopped and grabbed a sandwich that we scarffed down on the way to the quad biking place. Once we arrived, we quickly filled out our forms, put on our helmets and jumped on the bikes. Whew- we did not even have a moment to rest in all the mayhem.

Quad biking on the dunes was unbelievable! It was definitely one of my favorite things of the whole trip. The dunes were breathtaking! We had to stay in a single file line and follow the guide perfectly if we didn’t want to end up dropping off a 90 degree cliff here or there. Our only indication that death could be approaching was that the guide would just raise up his left hand and point to the drop off… after that you better watch out!

The bikes were SUPER fast. At certain points I was pretty freaked out but I just couldn’t slow down or stop because we had to stay in our line. I was forced to keep up but it made it so much more exciting. We actually would ride up the steep sides of dunes as well and I knew that I HAD to keep my speed up then because if I rode up those things going too slow, I’d just tip over. That would be no fun.

It’s REALLY hard to get a sense for how amazing these dunes were just from the pictures. The depth and height of them just doesn’t present well. You really had to be there to appreciate it.

After we were finished on the quad bikes we rushed back to the facility where there was a driver waiting to take us to the sandboarding site. Let’s remember that we had not had one moment’s rest since we woke up at 6:30am (sitting in a car for 5+ hours doesn’t count). We got to the sandboarding site and were greeted with some unpleasant weather. WIND. Massive amounts of horrible wind. Wind plus sand does not equal happiness. Wind plus sand plus trying to carry one of these boards up a giant sand dune… well, that was just brutal.

But coming down? That was SO much fun. If we could just come down over and over this would have been one of my favorite activities. Unfortunately there are no lifts so once you came down you just turned right back around and started walking up the dune, again. Over and over. More climbing. More hills. My legs HATED me by this point of the trip. The girls opted for the lie down boards and the boys mostly used the snowboards, but they did get a chance to ride on ours as well and I think they all thought it was much more fun to lie down. They even had a gun to clock our speed and at one point Andrew got up to 70kph on the lie down board! Pretty insane!

Sandboarding was tons of fun but after a few runs, you just do not have the energy to keep walking up those dunes. Oh and when you’re done, you pretty much have sand coming out of every crevice of your body for a week. Luckily the guides had lots of lovely snacks and cold beers for us to enjoy after all that hard work.  What an amazing day of sandy adventures!

Sand dunes.

Let me point out that sand dunes are NOT easy to walk up. For every step you take, you slide back half of a step in the loose sand. Some of these can be REALLY steep as well.  Our first experience with dunes was in Sossusvlei- home of the highest sand dunes in the world. These were amazing. We got up before sunrise (I’d like to point out that we did this 5 out of 7 days in our last week in Africa) and drove to the national park  in Sossusvlei. We had to get there at sunrise in order to experience the amazing shadows and colors that occur in the early morning hours. I’d definitely say this part of the trip (specifically this day) allows me to cross off number 42 on my 101 list… Watch the sunrise.

We headed directly to Dune 45 which is one of the easiest dunes to access from the road. There were tons of people there trying to get a glimpse of this amazing wonder. We all decided to walk up the dune. More hills… I wasn’t thrilled; HOWEVER, this wasn’t a mountain- it was a sand dune. It would be totally different and really amazing at the top. I just knew it. Well, I got about halfway up and thought I was going to die. I’m not afraid of heights by any means but I think the combination of my heart pounding, my breath racing and the 45 degree angle drop to my left sent me into a panic. I pretty much freaked out and couldn’t look anywhere but straight down at my feet. I had to walk back down. I sucked. I did have the chance to get pretty high up, but I didn’t really take the time to enjoy it because I was too busy having a mild panic attack. The rest of the group kept climbing to the very top and once they were up there, they were all brave enough to run down the side of the dune. In my anxious state, I was unable to even contemplate joining them on this adventure but now I am sad I didn’t. I was able to calm down on all other dunes and those were quite fun to run and sandboard down (which I’ll post about later).

Here are some amazing photos of our first day at the Sossusvlei dunes.

What we were about to climb:

See the little tiny person at the tippy top in the photo below? I made it to about there before I freaked out and had to walk down. You can’t really tell, but in the back it curves and gets even higher. That’s where the rest of the group made it to. If you look closely at the top left of the dune, you can see some people running down the side.

These photos give you some perspective of how high up we were (and the slope of the dune):

Here are a few of Andrew running down from the very top of Dune 45. It’s pretty much impossible to fall down the dune. You just sink into the sand so it’s completely safe to run down. I was still too wussy to do it on this big one though.

Up next… sandboarding (down MORE dunes)!

 Here is another kudu, more specifically-  his leg, dead and braised and slathered in sauce and sitting on Mitchell’s plate.

Here Mr. kudu is entering  Mitchell’s belly.

The kudu is famous! EVERYONE wants a neanderthal photo op with the poor butchered animal.

What did I think about the most ginormous leg of meat EVER? Well, take a guess.

 Seriously… GROSSEST THING EVER!

The first winery we went to had AMAZING views and gave us lovely hummus with our wine.

The 2nd winery allowed you to pick the different types of wines you wanted to try- which was quite nice since we could sample many more varieties than we would normally be able to. Next we had a picnic lunch at one of the wineries and they brought out these big baskets of breads, cheeses, salads, pastries, dips and sweets. All the food was delicious and I absolutely stuffed myself.

We headed to one more winery after lunch but I was too full to even try anything. Finally we headed to one last place. It wasn’t exactly a winery, it was more like a really large outdoor restaurant/bar. It had the coolest atmosphere and we got some African face painting done and we each had a cocktail. Unfortunately we didn’t have much time to spend here because we only had our drivers until 7, so we packed up our things and headed off to dinner (which I STILL was not hungry for).

I’d definitely say that was one of the best wine tasting experiences I’ve ever had!

This is what you DON’T want to happen:

Unfortunately for us… this  clearly DID happen.

Fortunately for us we had a spare… and three boys who know how to change a tire.

I’m pretty sure we were all silently praying during the next 1.5 hours of driving on desert gravel road that it wouldn’t happen again. Luckily, it didn’t- and hey, it wouldn’t be a true road trip without a few hiccups along the way, right!

Andrew, Stu, Kimbo and I then headed to a bar/club down by the beach with a few of Kimbo’s work friends. The line for drinks was horrendous and it took us nearly 40 minutes to get served. As retaliation, Andrew walked up to the manager of the bar and said “I own a club in Sydney and I’ve been told this is THE place to be in Cape Town and I’m just not seeing it. I heard we could get table service with great vodka and we haven’t seen any of that.” The manager apologized profusely and sent over a bottle of vodka to our table with a big bucket ice filled with cans of a redbull type drink. To top it off, he sent us 2 pizzas. We were loving life! We couldn’t believe Andrew’s smooth talking was able to get us an entire bottle of vodka, mixers and some pizzas for free. At first we were expecting some sort of bill- but it never came. Both groups next to us got their bills but after over an hour, they never asked us for money. Life was grand!

But then… Andrew got greedy… or cocky- which ever you prefer. He made the mistake of asking for another bottle. We still had about 60% left in the first one but he just HAD to ask for another. Well that did it! When the waitress brought over the 2nd bottle, she also brought a bill- for BOTH bottles. We could have easily gotten away with getting the entire first lot for free but soooomeone had to spoil all the fun. That’s ok- at least Andrew smooth talked his way into a big discount.

The bill was sort of a buzzkill for me. We were all so excited that we were getting all this stuff for free and when that all changed I guess I lost my thirst. I moved onto water (which allowed me to feel great the next day) but the boys didn’t. They kept drinking the night away which naturally lead to this scene at the end of the night:

Just another fun night out with some great friends! To Stu and Kimbo- I really can’t wait for you guys to be back in Sydney!!!

By the time we waited in line for the cable car and the boys hiked up, we actually all reached the top at the same time (it took 53 minutes to be exact). Once we were all together again, we took a little stroll to another side of the mountain to enjoy the view.

Maybe Lion’s head isn’t so big after all when you look at it from up here…

Next up… SHARKS! And later, even more climbing. Stay tuned!

We’ll call it Africa Week here at Elsja.com.

So to start off Africa Week- I’ll post Andrew’s blog that was actually written 3 weeks ago. Enjoy.

Day 1 – 13^th March.

The beginning. After dropping our house keys off with Paul and VK, the drive to the airport was uneventful. I dropped Elsja off at the international terminal and then parked back in my staff parking at the domestic before catching the transfer bus back across to the international terminal airside. On check-in they told us there were only two business class seats available and we were the first to get them! Bonus. I guess there are perks to being a captain and booking a high priority trip. This is definitely one of the major things I will miss when I leave Qantaslink.

Customs and security was pretty standard except that Elsja screwed up her outgoing documentation, refilled it out and after tearing up the ‘wrong’ one, realized she’s accidentally torn up the good one. This was discovered after lining up however, which resulted in her having to going back to fill it out for a third time. So we ended up being split up which out worked anyway as I had some phone calls to make before boarding. They never give us our boarding passes on standby until about 30-40 minutes before departure so it’s always a bit of a rush through customs and security. This is good in a way as we never have to wait around to board. We got the upstairs cabin for the flight which is always better. More personalised service (at least it feels that way) and it’s usually quieter.

The flight was pretty much the same as any long haul flight – you try to fill your time as much as possible until after the meal service before getting bored enough to sleep. This involved me watching one movie (Law Abiding Citizen), reading some of my book (Bill Bryson’s “A short history of nearly everything”) and going through two newspapers. I’ve gotta say, for the first time I wasn’t too impressed with the food on Qantas business. This is probably also due to the fact that they ran out of the options we wanted on both occasions when they got around to serving us. We’re staff so the full paying passengers get served first with their choice and we basically get what’s left. Not usually too bad because they generally over cater anyway. This time though I missed out on the options labeled “healthy” at both lunch and dinner. I guess people are just being healthier in general these days. Sucks for me. The toasted sandwich I ordered mid-flight sucked the big one too. When I say “I’ll have all (8) ingredients minus the mustard and cheese please”, that’s pretty much what I mean. So when it comes with a dab of olive tapenade and a few dodgy pieces of salami, it’s not very impressive. The posh butler type waiter/flight attendant didn’t seem too impressed that we were asking him to make us toasted paninis either. I still haven’t figured out why you are generally treated worse whilst travelling as staff. Don’t they travel as staff too sometimes?

After all that I only ended up getting about one and half hours of sleep anyway. I filled the rest of trip watching documentaries on evolution, Neil Armstrong, Charles Darwin and the financials of the porn industry and how pretty much every organization in the world (including the Catholic Church, much to my delight) supports it. Touché.

We arrived in Johannesburg on time at 3:30pm (12:30am Sydney time) and went through “customs”. What a joke. The chick who stamped our passports barely even looked at us. No questions. No paperwork to fill out. Nothing. We grabbed our bags off the rack, walked through a sparsely staffed sterile area and suddenly we were in South Africa. The first thing I noticed was how unprofessional the airport staff are – customs, security and airline staff. They were flirting with each other, leaning against walls – even standing there eating chips out of a giant bag. The first chick I went up to ask for help was on her mobile. Did she say anything? Even wave a hand? No. Just a big, dumb blank stare as she kept talking and giggling with someone who was obviously known personally. What a moron. We walked away.

Our next flight wasn’t for nearly three hours but we went and tried to check in anyway as we were on standby again and it’s always best to just get your foot in the door. At first they seemed pretty positive about us getting on but then he told us it was overbooked! This didn’t make a lot of sense but they told us to come back and see them at 5:30pm and they’d let us know. It hit me at this point that we hadn’t even thought about a ‘Plan B’ in case we didn’t get on this flight. This is very unlike me so  I thought about it and realised that it was because when I’d called the night before to check our baggage allowance, the chick told me that the flight was pretty empty and we’d be fine. So I didn’t give it another thought. Idiot. ALWAYS have a ‘Plan B’. Suddenly the thought of having to not only go to a hotel, but also to figure out which one, where it was, how much, how to get there, bla bla bla – was not very appealing.  In the end though, we got on and they ended up giving us business class too which was great! I guess what they probably meant initially (and why they were being so coy), was that they knew there were seats in business class but were trying to see if they could squeeze us into economy before upgrading us. You had nothing to fear Check-in-Chick, we didn’t eat a damn thing anyway.

Countless teas, three coffees, one diet coke and some nuts later, we arrived in Cape Town. Stu and Kimbo’s smiling faces were there waiting for us as we trudged off (Elsja’s 15kg carry-on strapped to my back) and it was just great to see them. We chatted on the way home but it kinda felt like I was drunk. By that point we’d been awake for nearly twenty four hours and obviously travelling during that time (a fourteen hour flight followed by a three hour wait then another two hour flight) really doesn’t help. We arrived at Kimbo and Stu’s place and after a tour I can really see how much we get ripped off in Sydney. It comes fully furnished, includes panoramic water views, all bills AND a maid. What an amazing…um, condo? Apartment? I actually don’t know.

One of the first things we did notice was the wind. Oh, how windy. The suburb of Camps Bay snuggles nicely between the Atlantic Ocean and a small mountain range made up of Table Moutain and The Twelve Apostles. These two topographical features bring out the best of a combination in Katabatic/Adiabatic winds and the sea breeze. The result? A howling gale all night long. Not too disruptive to Elsja and I though. We sleep with ear plugs.

After our quick tour of the pad, Stu kindly busted out the local beer and cider with a cheeky bourbon thrown in for old times sake. We shot the shit for a couple more hours before turning the lights out at 11:00pm (8:00am Sydney time).  It was great to get to bed. There is always the fear of getting stranded when you’re travelling on standby so it’s a huge relief when things works out.

Quite a successful day all in all. The sun is just rising on Day Two now after my 4:45am wake up. What a view, what a pad. Hopefully what a city.

Here’s just a quick snipit to let you know what we’ve been doing:

• We climbed Lion’s head
• Andrew climbed Table Mountain with Stu. I took the cable car up because I was way too wussy to climb up after doing lion’s head.
• We’ve had some amazing lunches and dinners- the food has been quite good
• We visited Robben Island
• We had a big, boozy night out on Friday
• Today we went wine tasting at some amazingly beautiful wineries
• Tuesday we are going shark diving
• Wednesday Andrew and I head off to Namibia for our 2 day safari and Kimbo, Stu, Mitchell and Sarah will join us there on Friday!

The best part of all is that we’ve been able to visit some great friends and relax in such a beautiful city. We return to Sydney on April 2nd. I’ll post more details and photos then.

I was telling Val yesterday that this trip seems really strange. In the last 4 years I’ve flown from LA to Sydney and back again probably 12 or 13 times. I know the flight well. I know the exact desk I need to go to for check-in. I know the gate I fly out of- it’s always gate 8 or 9. I know all about the extra security procedures at gate 8 and 9. I know the exact length of the flights. I know how many movies I can watch. I know that if I try to start a movie right when they are serving breakfast, I won’t get to watch the entire thing because the entertainment system will shut down before it ends. I know the usual flight numbers I might have (QF 12, QF 8, etc.) I know that my flight will always leave around 11 or 1 (or possibly 3 depending on daylight savings). I can estimate the weight of my heavy bags and even when they are CRAMMED full, I know they will still be under the maximum weight. I know I will usually arrive around 6:30 or 8:30 am in LA. I can calculate the time zone difference in 1.2 seconds.

Like I said… I KNOW THE FLIGHTS WELL!

I know NOTHING about our flight to South Africa and it’s a weird feeling. All I am aware of is that we leave around 10:30am. I have no idea how long the flight is. I don’t know when we arrive. I don’t know exactly how many hours behind they are. I am basically putting all my faith and trust in Andrew to tell me where to go and when to be there. It’s such a strange feeling to be flying on a long international flight that is heading AWAY from LA. It’s strange and very exciting at the same time.

In two days I will show up to the airport and board our plane at a different gate.  I will fly over the Indian Ocean for the first time. I will be stepping onto a new continent, one my toes have never touched. I will explore two new countries. I will see wild mammals, great white sharks and beautiful scenery. I will climb mountains and ride boards on sand dunes. It will be a brand new journey full of first-time experiences and adventures and I can’t wait!

ANNNNYWAYS…

I made it home on Saturday morning after an uneventful trip across the pacific. While I was in the airport waiting to board, I did have a few thoughts and I’m sort of wondering if I am the only weird person that thinks of this stuff or if there are others out there just as paranoid, nosy and anal as me.

Am I the only one that gets a teeny bit nervous when they test my bag for bomb/drug particles? Ok so it makes no sense because I obviously am never carrying bombs or drugs, but whenever I get the extra screening through security I’m always a little concerned that the alarm on the machine is going to go off. Maybe I’ve watched too much Boarder Patrol or Banged up Abroad, but I always think to myself “what if I touched a dollar bill that had some bomb material on it and then I touched my bag, blah blah blah.” I’m a freak, I know, I know- but it’s always a big relief when the little “passed” sign comes up on the screen.

Does anyone stare at people at the gate and wonder who they are and why they are getting on that plane? I saw this group of maybe 12 African American guys at the gate when I was getting ready to board. Anyone who has been to Australia knows that it is pretty strange to see any groups of black people at all in this country. Don’t believe me? Read this blog.  One looked sort of like Don Cheadle, all cool with his gold jewelry and glasses on his head (indoors at 10:00pm) but the rest looked like big nerds. Obviously they were traveling as a group but what kind of group? They were too poorly dressed to be a sports team or music group. Church group maybe? I sat and wondered and I still wonder. Am I the only one who wonders?

Does anyone else have a detailed plan and schedule of events every time they get on the plane? I always have my big backpack that is too big to go under a seat so I bring a smaller cloth bag inside the backpack. The first thing I do when I get to my seat is take out all the things I might need on my flight (or things I don’t want to get stolen)- my ipod, a pen, sleeping pills, my wallet and passport, chapstick, water, socks, an eye mask, etc. I add these items to the cloth bag and put it under the seat. Next I take out my travel blanket…yes, I carry a travel blanket. Finally I put my big bag in the overhead, sit down, buckle up and check out the entertainment guide. That is how it goes on EVERY flight. Does that make me anal? Perhaps, but maybe I’m  just an expert traveler?

So who else is with me? Who else is as anal, nosy and paranoid as I am??

The flight was uneventful. Probably the least turbulent of all my flights. I watched a few movies and TV shows and checked out a new bridal magazine. I only slept about 2 hours which meant that when I landed, I felt like a zombie. Unfortunately for my mom all the flight screens showed that we were flying in from Sydney at 7:40am. I suppose technically we were, but she was expecting a flight from Melbourne so when we were over an hour late- she struggled to figure out where we were. It didn’t help that we were flight 11 from Sydney (via Melbourne) but there was another flight 11 from Sydney arriving at the same time.

The whole trip was chaos… but I made it, I finally made it!  Now I am here in Huntington with my family and  friends. I finally get to do some real wedding planning and it’s so much fun!  Only downside? I miss Andrew

I looked around and no one else seemed to recognize him, at least no one was staring. Was I the only one that knew who he was? Maybe everyone else just didn’t care (I’m sure that will be Andrew’s logic), or perhaps everyone else in business class were all too old and stuffy and tired to notice.

After waiting for far less time than I had anticipated, I got to the counter and checked in. As chance would have it, JM’s people finished checking in at the same time and so when I headed towards the elevator he was heading in the same direction. He got there before I did and the doors opened. He was kind enough to tell me to go ahead before him so I crammed in the back of the elevator with my 2 bags and he and two of his peeps entered with their bags. The extent of our dialogue consisted of him asking me what floor I was on, discussing the need to use card keys to actually push the floor buttons and then when I said “it’s been a long day” he sang a little song about the fact that we weren’t dead. It was a funny little tune that went something like this - “at least we didn’t diiiieeee, at least we didn’t diiiiieee.” It actually could have been “at least we’re not deeeead,” I really can’t remember, but you get the gist. Our dialogue ended with saying “have a good night” when his friends and I all exited on floor 6 and he proceeded to head on up to 8.

The next morning I had a bunch of time to kill so I sat down in the lobby area while I had some breakfast and tea and read the paper. I saw some of his group down there but he wasn’t around. Finally I went up to get all my luggage so I could check out. As I stood waiting for the elevator, I noticed that one was on floor 4, one was on 5 and one was on 8. Hmm… floor 8. So The one from floor 8 started heading down and when the doors opened, there he was, all alone with his luggage and massive sleeve tattoo.  So this elevator dialogue consisted of me saying “we meet again” and then we both mumbled something about the flight and  when we got off he wished me luck on my flight and I did the same. Then I said, “I guess we’ll have the same luck” and then he told me they decided to take a completely different flight. I guess they didn’t want to get back on the A380 again. I don’t blame them. My thoughts were confirmed when I read  THIS.

Anyways, after 11.5 hours of traveling NOWHERE, it was a nice little experience to have some brief interaction with a pretty cool singer. Andrew… please no snotty comments on how stupid we all are for caring about celebrities. We all know how you feel already. As much as I realize that celebrities are just normal people with fancy careers, I still like seeing them in hotels after I’ve been stuck on a plane for 7 hours.

Up next: Part 3- finally getting there.

It was a sunny Sydney Friday around 1:15pm and I had just arrived at the airport to check in for my flight to LA. I immediately received a business boarding pass which was awesome considering I was on standby. The plane was loaded in a timely manner but then we waited at the gate for some unknown reason for another 30 minutes before starting to taxi out to the runway. Finally we headed out towards the entrance to the runway where we proceeded to sit for another 15 minutes or so.We thought we were waiting our turn to take off, we were wrong. It was at this point that the captain made his first announcment. “Hi folks, unfortunately we’ve got a problem with the fuel management system that I’m not comfortable with. We’re going to call the engineers but we need to let you know there is a chance that we might have to return to the gate.” It was at this exact moment that I had the feeling I wouldn’t be getting to LA the next morning.

Ten minutes later.  “Ok folks, well it looks like unfortunately we’re going to have to return to the gate to have our engineers check this out. We’ll keep you posted with any updates and we appreciate your patience.”

One hour later (it is now about 5:00, we were supposed to take off at 3:10). “Alright, thank you for your patience. We think we’ve solved the problem… (pause)…put it this way, we don’t see the problem any more so we’re going to go ahead and taxi out so we can be on our way to Los Angeles.” Many people were not very comfortable with his choice of words. I admit, it probably wasn’t the best way to let everyone know what was going on, but I wasn’t worried. I just wanted to go!

About 2 hours after takeoff.  “Hello folks, it’s your captain again, I have some bad news. Unfortunately that fuel pump issue is still causing some problems and we are not going to be able to continue on to LA at this time. We have a few options. We could head to Fiji, but we don’t know how you will be treated there (read this), we could go to Melbourne but we don’t really think that’s the best choice so we think the best plan would be to go back to Sydney, so were going to turn around. Those of you watching the travel route on your screens will see that we’ve already started to turn.”

2 hours later.  “Hello this is your captain again. Well we’ve made it back to Sydney but unfortunately there is some heavy traffic and Air Traffic Control is having us hold for awhile until it clears up. We anticipate that we should be on the ground around 9:28pm.”

9:30pm. “Hello it’s your captain again. Well as you can see, 9:28 has come and passed. Unfortunately while we were waiting to land the weather in Sydney took a turn for the worse. There is a lot of rain and the ground is very wet, so unfortunately we will not be able to land here and we’re going to have to divert to Melbourne.”

Around 10:30 pm. We finally landed SOMEWHERE. It wasn’t LA, it wasn’t Sydney, but it was solid ground and after more than 7 hours in a plane going nowhere, solid ground was nice.

Luckily everyone in business class was told where we would be staying immediately before exiting the plane. This meant we didn’t have to stand in line with 200 other passengers to try to figure  out our accommodation details. THANK GOD! It also meant that I got to walk right across the street to a super nice hotel where I finally checked in  around 11:30pm and the 2nd part of my journey continued. Well, it wasn’t actually part of the  journey per se but some other stranded travellers did help to at least make the night more interesting.

Part 2 coming soon…

In summary:

*Part 1 of the journey- 11.5 hours from my front door to the bed at the hotel.

*Obviously this is all paraphrased but I’m pretty sure I underestimated the number of times “unfortunately” was used and I definitely should have included many more apologies, there were TONS of those.

*There’s a tiny, and I mean TINY, story about the incident here. Evidently the version on the news was much more entertaining. Supposedly we had an “emergency landing.”  The TV reporters clearly did not get their facts straight, what’s new?