Elsja Down Under

It’s Official November 16, 2010

Yesterday I received some exciting things in the mail. I suppose they technically came last week… but Andrew had to get to the post office to pick them up for me since I can no longer do those types of things now that I’m a working girl. So what did I get in the mail you ask? I got two very official documents.

1. My permanent residency notification. I am now a full-fledged permanent resident of Australia!! This means I can get a full driver’s license (as opposed to the temporary one I had that has now expired… don’t worry, I can still legally drive on my US license) and in two years I can apply for citizenship.

2. My new social security card that reads “Elsja Hancock.” Nearly three months after our wedding, I have officially become Mrs. Hancock. Now I just need to get a new passport, change all my other official documents and practice my signature!

These were two great silver linings to a rainy Monday. Oh, and I also became an official member of the gym near my work. As much as I don’t want to pay to exercise, I really have no time in my day to work out unless I do it right before/after work or on my lunch break. Getting home at 7-8pm every night is not conducive to keeping up the motivation to exercise.

What a very official way to start the week!

Australia Post Sucks- part 2 May 27, 2010

If you don’t already know my hatred for the slumbag contractors that work for the Australian Post… read here. Here is my update to that post.

Andrew and I are not the type of people that sit back and complain about the Post time and time again without acting on our anger. We like to call and complain and we do it a lot! Well really why wouldn’t we when the postal worker gives us sooooo many things to complain about?

Today I called and made I believe our 5th or 6th official complaint. I can’t be certain of the number for sure because I only started documenting them 4 complaints ago.

You see, our dick of a delivery man doesn’t like to deliver our packages. He likes to put a little blue card in our mail box and simply says we weren’t home. Well we all know that I work from home so this is just not possible. I am ALWAYS home when he puts those cards in the box. Sometimes he claims we must not hear the buzzer. If you’ve been to our place, you know that is impossible. It is LOUD. So this non-delivery problem used to happen ALL the time. Big packages, small… it didn’t matter. The douchebag just never bothered to do his job.

Back in December we had a bit of a breakthrough. We finally thought we complained enough to have some positive turnaround. We spoke to a customer service manager who stated that from now on if the driver attempted a delivery and we weren’t home, the driver was supposed to call this manager and let him know. The manager would then call me to confirm that I was not home. Well after this new protocol was set in place, everything changed. Any time a package came, there was a long and loud BUZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ BUUUUUUZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ  BUUUUZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ(remember… this guy is a DICK), at our door.

Well last week that all changed when another little blue card magically appeared in the box. We knew this was for three cases of wine and of course the fat slob doesn’t want to deliver 3 cases of wine. That means he’d actually have to carry the weight up two flights of stairs.

So we immediately called the previous customer service manager to report the problem. Unfortunately, his line that is written on the letter we received is no longer in service. So we resorted to the old methods of filing a regular complaint. Well after one week with no word, Andrew called again yesterday. The guy he spoke to assured us the packages would be re-delivered today.

So today there was a BUZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ at about 9:45 am. It’s the delivery prick asking if I’d be home in an hour for him to deliver my packages. Was he hoping I’d say no? Was he hoping he’d get out of doing his job again? Unfortunately for him I said yes and then he stated, ok make it an hour an a half. Over TWO hours later he finally comes back.

When he huffs and puffs up with all the boxes he says to me “You weren’t home when I tried to deliver before.”

ASDLKJNCWOEIRFNCOAWIERJAWERKNWAEIFJSEFNWIEHJR!!!!!

IS HE KIDDING ME???

Oh I did not handle that comment well. I told him I was home, as I ALWAYS am when he doesn’t deliver our packages. He actually told me that he put a note on our file stating that if I don’t answer the buzzer the first time that he never has to redeliver a package again. I reminded him of the protocol that he was supposed to follow where he needed to call the manager if we weren’t home. He basically denied that was ever the case (even though I SWEAR it worked for awhile) and just kept shaking his head no and saying “nope.”

I “kindly” told him that everyone we know has this problem with them so it’s not just us.

His response? “No, no, it’s just you guys. You weren’t home,  I won’t redeliver again.”

I can’t tell you how fuming I was. I just yelled “whatever” to him as he huffed and puffed down the stairs. I really wanted to kick him in his face. Seriously… WHY couldn’t Andrew have been home when the jerk came? Andrew is a lot meaner than I am… I would have loved to see what he would say to that guy!

So today… the Australian Post received another nice little complaint from me. This time it was against the driver personally. I stated that he was rude and I don’t feel comfortable being alone in the house when he delivers the package because he’s always a jerk. I don’t need a response from them, I just want every little detail documented so that hopefully one day he will lose his job. I simply cannot understand how someone can NOT lose their job after THAT many complaints. I can tell you right now that if I was as lazy as him and if our customers had that many complaints about me- I would not still be employed. How is it possible that he still is entitled to earn an income?

I REALLY want to order another case of wine now so he can refuse to deliver it and I can call and complain again. It’s almost a source of entertainment now.

Girl in the Pink Boat May 19, 2010

On Saturday a record was broken. While the powers that be might not “officially” recognize this record, I think the rest of the world definitely does! Jessica Watson sailed her way into history, and into Sydney Harbour after 7 months alone at sea voyaging around the world. If you don’t know about her already, take a moment to check out her blog. It is amazing to think about what she has achieved. At 16 she spent 7 months all alone on a tiny little pink boat sailing the treacherous seas to become the youngest person to sail solo around the world, non-stop and unassisted.

Imagine navigating the world on your own, facing 12 meter swells and never having a single day off. Imagine spending Christmas and New Year’s all alone. Imagine not standing on solid ground, seeing a single human being or eating fresh food for 7 months. SEVEN months!!

I have to admit, I didn’t follow her journey as she was sailing although now I wish I would have. Knowing what I know now about what she went through makes me realize it would have been awesome to follow her journey and watch her story unfold

Luckily we live in an amazing area so as she came sailing in to Sydney Harbour on Saturday, Andrew, Ben and I decided to walk down to Middle Head where we would have the best possible view to watch her cross the finish line between North and South Head. She was originally supposed to arrive back around11:00am, then it became 11:30 and by the time we arrived at Middle Head we found out it was going to be more like 12:30 due to a torn sail. Well, at nearly 2:00 pm, she FINALLY came sailing in surrounded by masses of other boats. I didn’t really mind that she was that late, I mean I really should give this girl some credit, right? I only wish we would have worn warmer clothes and packed a little picnic to enjoy while we were waiting and enjoying the beautiful view.

The moment we could see her little pink boat and the water canons started going off, a little chill ran down my spine. That’s when it hits you that this YOUNG girl is returning home after being out in that water for more than half the year. After she passed by where we were perched watching with other cheering onlookers we decided to try to walk home quickly to catch a glimpse of her arrival at Circular Quay on the news. Our timing was impeccable and we made it home about 5 minutes before she docked. What an amazing feeling she must have had that day. I can’t even begin to imagine any goal in my life amounting to the last 7 months of her life.

We simply sat there watching the water for hours that day, waiting to catch a glimpse of this little pink boat. Other than the lack of food and sweatshirts… it was a great way to spend the day.

Silver Linings #2 March 10, 2010

So as promised, I want to post a few good things for the day even though I don’t have anything REALLY interesting to write about.

1. I went to lunch with a friend and we had a nice talk

2. Andrew and I went to dinner at Fat Monk with Tess, Kris and Yorky. We enjoyed good food, good conversation and good wine. P.S. Did you know that if you google Fat Monk, my blog comes up on the first page of searches? There’s a fun fact for you.

3. I only have 2 more days of work and then I’m heading to Africa!! I’m really starting to get excited now. Ok, I do realize this IS something really interesting that I could blog about- but like I mentioned before, I haven’t actually BEEN there yet so I don’t quite have anything good to post at this moment. Stay tuned.

4. I’ve had lots of comments about silver linings and friends moving away and it’s made me very happy. Thanks for all your support and feedback everyone!

A Perfect Day January 28, 2010

The sun was nice enough to peep out from behind the clouds for just one day this week.  Of all the days for the sun to make an appearance, Tuesday the 26th was the most optimal day. Why? Because Tuesday was Australia Day… the Aussie equivalent of the 4th of July.

Our day consisted of the typical Australian traditions- a BBQ and lots of drinking. This year we had an added bonus… a swimming pool. I have to say that pools are one of the biggest things I miss from California. It just seems like pools in this country are quite rare and so people typically just go to the beach. While the beach is nice, there’s nothing like lying on a raft in the water for hours on end without having to worry about fish, sharks and seaweed. A big thanks goes out to Alex, Brendan and Kristin for hosting such a fun party!

Australia day was my perfect type of  day. Summer sun, good friends, a refreshing pool, delish food and beverages and of course, Andrew.

Why can’t every day be just like this one?

For more fun in the sun pics- CLICK HERE.

Aussie-ism Slips of the Tongue January 14, 2010

I’ve definitely picked up some Aussie-isms since moving here over 2 years ago. I think them in my head quite often, but I don’t usually speak them out loud. Really I like to think I’m just picking up Andrew-isms but when I was home in June last year my friends quickly pointed out that ‘yeaaauuuhhh’ (probably best if you hear it, not read it) is definitely not just something Andrew says. They all laughed at me and said it was totally Aussie.  But really, that didn’t count as a slip of the Aussie tongue. Honestly, that was just picking up how Andrew talks- it doesn’t necessarily represent all Australians… at least I don’t think it does.

I just don’t think I verbalize many of the Aussie-isms I pick up. I feel that’s because I find it quite annoying when Americans move here and within 2 weeks they’ve acquired an accent, have started spelling differently and start referring to their moms as their mums. I still refuse to write or say “mum” unless I am specifically writing it about an Australian person’s mum. Like today for instance, I was writing an email to Andrew’s brother and I wrote “my mom and your mum blah blah blah…” Yes, I really did spell it differently when I was referring to my mother versus his mother. I clearly filter what I say and write depending on the person I’m talking to. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with picking up the lingo and slang after a few years, but I guess I tried so hard not to be one of those lameos that thinks they have become an Aussie the minute they walk through those airport doors that now it’s actually weird if I say something that sounds Australian.  

So my first official slip of the tongue occurred this week when I was speaking to American clients back home. I said “How are you going?”  No, I didn’t say “how are you doing?”  This was definitely ” how are you going.” I guess it’s good that at least I said how ARE YOU going instead of the traditional “how ya’ goin’?”  I also suppose it’s good that it took me over two years to let that one slip to an American. I was shocked when I said it  and immediately thought “they must be so confused… they won’t know how to respond.” I don’t even remember if they did respond because I was too busy pondering my verbal slip.

But I promise… even though I let that one spill out, I will NOT be saying brekkie, pressies, bikkie, cozzie, dunny or any of those other EEEE words any time soon. Those ones still drive me nuts. Maybe in another two years…

I Live Here January 10, 2010

I don’t know about you but I love vacationing in tropical places with beautiful crystal clear water. When planning a trip I scope out pictures of the beaches to try to find the spot that looks the best. I’ve been to places like Cancun, Costa Rica, Maui and Fiji and the gorgeous clear oceans always make me so happy. So imagine my surprise when I discovered that I no longer have to take a vacation to enjoy these fine beaches. They are right in my own back yard!!

Yes… I live HERE:

This discovery took place on Saturday when Andrew, Mike, Hayley,  Ben and I went on the Bondi to Coogee walk (now I’ve completed 2/5 of#7 from my 101 list). It’s a 12km round trip trek with the most amazing views (clearly). I had heard a lot about the walk in the last 2 years that I’ve lived here but never quite made it past Tamarama.

I always knew Australia had beautiful beaches but come on… these are amazing! Look at that water! Why haven’t you all come to visit me yet? We could actually go to these beaches!

Unfortunately I did not get to go in the water since the purpose of our visit to paradise was to go on this long ass walk. So instead of a bikini, I was wearing tennis shoes and a sports bra. I think this beach is calling me back though… anyone up for a day in the sun in the next few weeks?

Check out a few more pictures if you want to see what else you are missing while you are all sitting in the cold US winter.

The Greatest Show on Earth January 1, 2010

No, I’m not talking about the circus. I’m talking about the Sydney Harbour fireworks on New Year’s Eve. I do believe that Sydney is probably the most amazing place to be to ring in the new year. Watch the video below and I’m sure you will find it hard to disagree. I recommend viewing in full screen mode. It’s a bit long but well worth it. Grab a cup of tea or a glass of wine and check out the view I had last night.

 I hope you all had a wonderful New year’s Eve and happy 2010 to you all!!

I’m Dreaming of a Humid Christmas December 16, 2009

It may take me some time to get used to combining Christmas with Summer. I’m trying to listen to Christmas music every chance I get since I only have a few more weeks before the holidays are over. So yesterday when work was finished I plugged in my ipod and headed up the hill on my way to the beach. I huffed, I puffed and I sweat in the sun as I listened to “White Christmas” and “Sleigh Ride.” I don’t know about you, but I feel like there’s something really wrong about listening to “Baby it’s Cold Outside” when in fact baby it’s quite hot and humid outside.

I should be drinking pumpkin spice lattes and egg nog. Instead I’m eating watermelon and drinking iced tea.I should be wearing scarves and hoodies and enjoying the scent of burning fireplaces in the cool, crisp winter air.  Instead, I’m putting on my bathing suit and summer dresses and enjoying the scent of the sea salt on muggy summer afternoons.

The only thing that reminds me that Christmas is next week is the colorful Christmas tree standing in our living room. Even that seems out of place when I’m sweating here on my couch in shorts and a t-shirt. I just don’t know if I’ll ever get used to a summer Christmas. In fact you’ll probably see a blog just like this one next year… and the year after.

Since the days of roast turkey dinners and warm spiced cider are pretty much over for me I’ve decided we’ll just have to start some new festive Christmas traditions of our own. I feel like getting married will be a good starting point for us to begin creating these new traditions. I’ve already decided I want to have a Christmas party every year. My parents always had a party every year as far back as I can remember. It is one of my fondest memories from Christmas as a kid. Many times our parties would fall on Christmas Eve and the adults would let us stay up until midnight to see if we could hear the bells of Santa’s sleigh. I figure we can start of with small get togethers and work our way up to larger, more lavish parties once we actually have a decent house and higher incomes. Maybe we can also create some yummy, summery Christmas recipes to enjoy every year. I don’t know what all we will end up doing, but do I know that I need some ideas to help me adapt to this new version of the holiday season.

Any festive Christmas traditions for soon-to-be newlyweds would be greatly appreciated!

More Bad Luck Topped off w/ Some Suave & Sexy October 25, 2009

As if my ipod breaking wasn’t crappy enough after my good deed of helping to put out a fire, on Saturday I was the recipient of even more unfortunate bad luck. While I was simply trying to make some delicious fondue for everyone to enjoy at Yorky’s “Suave and Sexy” party, I had a little mishap.

 My hand caught on fire.

Yeah I didn’t spill something on a brand new dress or slip on a puddle causing my shoe to break or anything like that. I literally caught on fire. Note to self: After spilling methylated spirits on your hand while trying to fill a fondue pot burner, make sure to use soap to wash it off. Evidently when you simply wash it with water and then go to re-light the burner, a fireball will erupt burning your hand, the table and anything else surrounding the fondue pot.  Then you will have MORE bad luck and the brie won’t even melt properly and the fondue will be a disaster and look like a disgusting clumpy mess (although it will still taste alright).

Luckily I was able allow my hand to sit under cold running water for about 10 minutes and then I put ice on for another 15. I really think it helped because it’s just red now and I haven’t had any blister pop, unlike the burn on my arm from 2 weeks ago… yes, another burn… which left blisters and a scar.

What is with me and fire and burning body parts lately? 

Even with all the fire drama the night was still really fun! Everyone looked very suave and sexy… see:

There was tons of great finger food and loads of alcohol and fruit so everyone spent the night frequenting the blender to create fancy, tropical concoctions to sip on… or gulp down.

And oh what an awesome view we had:

Such a fun night, even if I did almost burn my hand off! Thanks to Alex, Kristin and Brendan for hosting a great party. And a special thanks to Brendan and whoever else helped put out the fire on the table while I was trying to put out the flames on my hand!

Winter October 7, 2009

So remember a few posts ago when I had this whole dilemma… “is it spring?  Is it summer?I just don’t know because it was coolish and now it’s hot… blah blah blah.”

Yeah I was wrong. Evidently, it is neither spring nor summer.

Winter has returned. 5 straight days of rain and it’s 50 degrees tonight (10c). With the wind and the rain, it’s basically freezing.

I HATE WINTER WHEN IT SHOULD BE SPRING.

So much for my sunny sangria Sundays. We have instead returned to hideous old navy flannel pj pants and heaters.

Two Years September 26, 2009

Two years ago today I arrived in Australia for good. I packed up, shed a few tears and got on that plane so I could head over the ocean to be with the boy that I love so dearly. TWO WHOLE YEARS! It really has flown by.

So what better way to celebrate my 2 year anniversary than to partake in a popular Aussie tradition… I headed to the races. I’ve always wanted to go to the races but in 2 years, I still had never been. I must say a BIG BIG THANK YOU to Audra who was fabulous enough to make it possible for me to attend. What girl doesn’t love getting dressed up and spending the day in the sun drinking champagne? Ok, I’m sure plenty of girls don’t- but I do! I even put one of those fancy schmancy fascinators in my hair- although it took me awhile to figure out how I was even supposed to put it on.

Yeah… so anyways… I’ve never gambled on horses. And guess what happend today when I did?

I WON!

AHHHH I WON SO MUCH MONEY!

I bet $3 and won $960!! Yes, that’s nearly A THOUSAND dollars from a $3 buck bet!! WOOHHOO

HAHAHAHAH YAYAYAYAY

Today was the best day EVER! 

Happy 2 year anniversary to me! YAY!

No Cartoons Please! September 14, 2009

One day we will probably have children and when wedo, please oh please do not buy our child gobbs of clothing with annoying cartoon characters all over them. Seriously- I don’t understandwhy people think this stuff is cute! While attempting to find a birthday present for Andrew’s cousin’s 2 year old, I was faced with the challenging task of finding something cute and reasonably priced. We had a gift idea originally but then I changed our plans and startedspecifically looking for a cute little bathing suit to go with a little bucket andshovel/spade that I found. I love doing theme gifts and I thought that would be a cute one since summer is coming. So we went searching for the suit.

Over an hour later, we settled on buying one of those horse on a stick things. You know, the ones that kids “ride” around on that make the galloping noises? Yeah, one of those. Why? you ask…What happened to your beachy theme gift? you ask…

I’ll tell you what happened… the crappy Australian children’s clothing selection is what happened! And now I will share my experience with you all.

1. First we went to Big W. This is where I had the inspiration for the gift when I found the little bucket and spade. I thought it was a great idea and should be fairly simple! So we headed to the children’s clothing section to look for a suit and after searching for ages we found 1… count that…  ONE bathing suit for a child under 5 years old. ONE! It was hideous.

2. Next we stopped at Pumpkin Patch and found the cutest bathing suite for a 2 year old. SWEET! I thought we had scored in the 2nd shop. This was too easy! But then I had a look at the price tag- nearly $40! No thanks.

3. Next was some other kid store- another CRAP selection of swim suits. We had to hunt and search and finally ask someone where we could find the suits. There were about 2 choices (literally), both heinous! In the U.S. there are whole bathing suit sections in kid stores. OH GOD how I miss Old Navy and U.S. quality Target!

4. Finally we headed to Target – SURELY Target has something right? I thought I had hit the jackpot when I spotted a bathing suit section in the distance. YAY a whole section! This is what I’ve been looking for. I see 3 suits from afar that look decent. I get excited. Oooh a cute little red suit with white polka dots! Woohoo it would even match the red bucket I bought. I grabbed it off the rack with excitement, turned it around and sighed and groaned audibly. Dorthy the freaking dinosaur! WHY oh WHY must people ruin perfectly good children’s clothing by slapping on a big giant ugly cartoon character??? Turns out all the other ones I saw from a distance also were tainted. Dora the Explorer and the Wiggles had to go and ruin them all.

So there we were…Andrew was sick of shopping and I was feeling very homesick… that’s how we ended up buying the horse on a stick (which was the gift idea we had from the beginning anyways)…

When we have kids one day in the far and distant future- please don’t buy anything with Winne the Pooh, The Wiggles, Dora, Elmo, or any of that other crap. I don’t want to have to pretend to like it all and then hide it in the back of the closet only to  pull it out and put it on our child for an hour when you come to visit. Kids have a right to be stylish too!

Our Snowboarding Weekend August 2, 2009

I went snowboarding this weekend for the first time in over 10 years. The reason I know it has been that long is that I actually still had my last lift pass attached to my snow pants and the date was February 14th, 1999. Crazy! So since I had no internet for nearly 4 whole days, it was impossible to update everyone on the trip. So I thought I’d update you all on the weekend in a facebook/twitter status update-like fashion. This is mostly because I can’t be bothered to type full paragraphs. So pretend you just read these all throughout the weekend

Thursday

Elsja:

• is driving to Jindabyne with Andrew- I just saw wild Emu and I’ve seen tons of wild kangaroos too
• arrived at the apartment- pretty nice place. Now we’re eating pizza, watching a movie and waiting for the others to get here.

Friday

Elsja:

• is on the slopes  for the first time in 10 years… I’m REALLY scared
• is eating shit, this is a bit harder than I remember
• is getting a group snowboard lesson with 3 other girls. Our instructor is great and I’m actually getting the hang of this!
• is using my new knowledge of turning and making it down the bunny slopes without falling.
• had a great first day of snowboarding, now we’re drinking schnapps and beers at the bar on the slopes.
• is making fajitas for dinner and having some wine.
• and Andrew are kicking butt playing the game Articulate with the rest of the group.

Saturday

Elsja:

• woke up sore, but not too sore. I’m ready for more boarding.
• just finished my 2nd group boarding lesson and I was probably one of the best ones in the group of 10. I’m really getting the hang of this.
• decided to go up to the higher lifts, it is WAY colder up here, super windy and a lot steeper- I’ve lost all confidence to practice turns
• has changed her mind, I’m NOT getting the hang of this and have fallen more in the last 3 hours than I did the entire first day.
• is in pain. Lots and lots of pain.
• can’t stand up. I keep falling over and I’m just too tired to even stand anymore.
• is so over snowboarding!!!!
• and the rest of the group are heading to Kris’ friend’s place in Thredbo for a BBQ.
• has seen more roadkill on this trip than I have my entire life.
• enjoyed a great  BBQ dinner and conversation but I got one of my stupid stomach aches.
• took some medicine and laid down, feeling much better now.

Sunday

Elsja:

• woke up in horrible pain. Pretty sure I have whiplash. I do NOT want to snowboard today.
• realized that if I don’t snowboard, I’ll sit alone for the next 6 hours doing nothing so I’ve decided to suck it up and give it another chance.
• just went down Friday Flats (the bunny slopes) again and actually did really well- maybe I haven’t lost my confidence after all!
• ran into a few friends, SO many people are at Thredbo this weekend.
• was just asked “Friday flats AGAIN?” by the guy checking my lift pass. So what if I’m a wuss and can’t go on the bigger runs after yesterday’s experience?
• is getting better and better… so glad I ended up boarding today- I’ll leave on a high note!
• and Andrew just said goodbye to the snowy mountains and we’re on our way home. My body is still in massive pain, but I had a great time!

To see the rest of our pictures- click here!

Dear Neighbors, Part 2 May 20, 2009

Dear Neighbors,

No… not you two… I’m talking to the ones upstairs who speak in some language I cannot decipher. I am really getting sick of your late night chats on the balcony. Seriously, I don’t hear you at all during the day or evening but for some reason you must go on to your balcony EVERY single night after 11:00 pm to have your daily 15 minute foreign chat. Oh and I REALLY don’t appreciate the random 1:00 am sessions. Those seriously suck.

It frustrates me that I can’t even eavesdrop and be nosey since I can’t understand you. Where the hell are you from anyways?? It frustrates me even MORE that you keep me awake at night. Don’t you need to sleep too?

Andrew was going to write you a letter once. Even though he USUALLY falls asleep before you start yacking, he really felt bad for me being kept up every night. But I stopped him from putting the note under your door one night at 3am because I didn’t think it was very nice. Here’s what it said in big black sharpie marker:

“SHUT THE F*%K UP”

I thought there must be a nicer way to go about asking you to be quiet, but considering I’ve lived here for over a year and a half and I still don’t think I’ve ever really seen your face, I  don’t exactly feel comfortable approaching you. So instead I just lie there each night waiting patiently for your 15 minutes of annoying chatter to end.

SO since I am afraid of confrontation, I’m REALLY happy that I now get to write this second letter to our OTHER neighbors. I thought I’d run it by you first. Let me know what you think…

-E

*********

Dear Other Mystery Neighbor,

You are wonderful.

When my boyfriend wanted to write a mean note to the yackies upstairs, I stopped him because I didn’t think it was very nice to use the F word. Well, clearly, that’s just something Australians do- or maybe just people in this apartment block. I remember on Halloween one guy in the block yelled “Oi F*%K off kids!!”  to some little teenage punks. That was pretty funny. Maybe that was your husband.

I just wanted to tell you how much I appreciate what you did for all of us last night. I could hear you yelling “shut up!” numerous times. I just laid there smiling, comforted knowing that someone else had been feeling my pain all these nights. I always thought I may be the only one who was going crazy from their conversations. But the gabbers upstairs just didn’t hear you. I don’t know why because I certainly heard you, even with my window closed. So I found it thoroughly amusing when you finally screamed in your shrill, angry voice:

“SHUUUUUUUUUT UUUUUUUPPPPP. You F*%King talk out there EVERY NIGHT!”

Well, I think they finally got the hint because they did shut up and they went inside.

I truly think your message got through to them. Maybe using the F word really is the only way to get things done around these parts! Hopefully tonight we will all sleep a little easier!

Thanks again for taking care of the situation (and thanks to my BF who attempted to take care of the situation 2 weeks ago even though I intercepted his note and threw it in the trash bin).

-E