Still Going… Sort Of

Yes I am sort of still doing the D Diet… I say sort of because I tend to be taking every weekend off and then it takes me 3 days to feel better to where I can start monitoring the diet again and then 2 days after that I’m back to the weekend. So really, while I’m still eating quinoa, buckwheat and spinach during the week, for the past 3 weeks I have not REALLY been able to track what may be causing me stomach issues. Something has to change. I either need to decide to say  that’s enough, I gave it 2 months, I learned a few things, and that’s all I can do OR stop taking every weekend off and re-focus my efforts on getting well.

For health purposes it may sound like a no-brainer but it really isn’t an easy decision to make. In terms of willpower I know I can get back into a routine in a heartbeat if I want to- that was never an issue for me- but will that be the best thing to do? You see for the first 6 weeks I was waking up on Saturday and Sunday mornings miserable and depressed. Why bother getting out of bed when I wouldn’t be able to do anything all day with Andrew or friends that involved any type of eating or drinking. Maybe that sounds ultra dramatic but you try going 6 weeks without enjoying ANY sort of social eating or drinking activity on the weekend (or any day of the week for that matter) and tell me how it makes you feel. Some say they feel fantastic on an elimination diet. They have more energy, they are happier… I feel none of these things. For the first few weeks I was crying more, had less energy, had more frustration and was just unhappy overall. I stuck to it though. I wasn’t going to give up due to a little frustration but ultimately when I started becoming a mega bitch I decided (and Andrew agreed) that if I wanted to stay mentally sane, I needed to enjoy my weekends.  After the last few weeks though I realise that these weekends are taking a toll on my stomach.  So what is more important… keeping sane or avoiding stomach woes? Do I really have to choose?

Basically  it seems like now my usual tolerance for “bad” food and alcohol has diminished. Perhaps my body got used to being fed healthier things and is now even more pissed off at me when I fill my belly with pizza and wine. Previously I would only have a flare up periodically,  but over the last two weekends I’ve eaten whatever I wanted, had a few drinks and subsequently I’ve spent my Friday night through Sunday or even Monday feeling like I have had a hangover that will not go away. My entire birthday yesterday was tainted by pain and nausea caused by a couple days of splurging while I was at a work conference. Is it possible that this diet has made me WORSE?  Sure I feel a whole heck of a lot better when I’m really strict about it but now if I have anything other than quinoa and salad I’m miserable. Ok, maybe I’m exaggerating. It’s only when I have a full weekend of crap that I feel bad, but when I feel bad I feel REALLY bad.

Another thing I’ve noticed is that I’m SO freaking sick of talking about the diet and explaining it to everyone. I’m sick of explaining how it works and why I’m doing it and that no, I’m not trying to lose weight and no, it doesn’t have an end date. People seem genuinely interested to hear about it though and at first I was happy to explain it to them but now I’m over it. When the people who have known about it since July keep asking me questions I just get irritated. It’s not their fault, it’s just that I don’t have any good news or information to share so what’s the point of discussing it?  Can’t we just talk about something else?

So here I am, still torn on the matter. It has been a learning experience, that’s for sure. While my doctor did suggest I try this on my own, I haven’t had that doctor or a nutritionist walking me through every single step so I’ve had to teach and motivate myself and make a few mistakes and adjustments to find what works for me. I guess even after 10 weeks I’m still learning. I haven’t given up, I would say I’m in a transition period and need to make a few adjustments to find the balance that will allow me to keep going without falling back into a miserable weekend depression pattern. But with the warmer weather ahead, weekend socialising will become even more important to me. How the heck do I stick to this diet and enjoy my spring and summer? Is it even possible?

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