My Husband is Evil

Anyone who knows my husband well knows he is a fitness maniac. He says he isn’t, but he is. Anyone who will play 2 rounds of tennis in one day and then still feel the need to go for a 5k run afterwards is a maniac in my opinion. I’m not complaining though, I like having a hubby who is in shape and healthy rather than a porker, but there is just one thing about this whole situation that drives me crazy.

He can eat anything he wants. He eats and eats and eats and never gains an ounce. Yes, I realise I could be like that too if I wanted to play 2 rounds of tennis 5 days a week but that is not my cup of tea. Instead, if I don’t want to gain weight, I have to turn away any time I even glance at a morsel of cheese.

So what makes him especially evil lately? Well, while I am on D-Diet and spending my days in misery, he is off eating buffets dry on his overnights. This week he was in Adelaide three different mornings and evidently they have an amazing buffet, which he takes full advantage of… every morning. The worst part is, he loves to send me photos of all the things he is eating, knowing full well that I’m stuck at my desk eating bowls of quinoa and sprouts. For instance, on day 3 of his buffet gorging he sent me these lovely photos:

Andrew's buffet

 

Then he sends me this photo the next day:

 

 

And THEN he has the audacity to send me a text basically stating “Holy shit, I’ve lost 3 kilos in the last couple of weeks.”

Funny, I lost a few kilos too. But rather than buffets and burgers I’ve been eating buckwheat and bean sprouts.

Evil. Mother. Effer.

 

3 Responses to My Husband is Evil

  1. Barbara July 29, 2012 at 2:45 pm #

    YES that IS evil!!!!!! OMG my mouth watered looking at the photos and I JUST ATE!!!!!! How sad.. I thought he said he was goings to be supportive during your D diet?? Not funny…… Hmmmm
    LOVE you Boog

  2. Andrew July 29, 2012 at 5:04 pm #

    For the record:

    1. I ate all that stuff in photos round 1-6 in the same sitting (which in turn I did on 3 consecutive mornings that week).

    2. I sent those photos to all 3 of my brothers too who all replied telling me I was soft for not eating more – Simon is the real eating machine in our family and I have no doubt he would have added 2-3 more courses on top of that.

    3. I only have been losing weight because of the alcohol I’ve cut out in the last few months. My exercise levels are the same as they always have been. Alcohol is the real key!

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