Dear Neighbors

Dear Neighbors,

Yes, I’m talking to the two of you who like to have loud, raunchy sex at night. I realize that your identities still remain a mystery- yet I still feel compelled to write to you.

I am very happy for you, I truly am. It sounds like you have a happy and active sex life. Congrats.

I do appreciate that you have limited yourselves to sex before midnight. Thanks for that! For awhile, the 3am wakeup calls we were getting from you guys were a bit annoying. You are quite loud you know… I even posted  once before on my blog about how we always can hear your headboard banging against the wall when you get into the act. That’s fine. Sometimes we can hear you moaning… gross, but good for you! But last night, I had to pee right around the time that you were enjoying yourselves and I was shocked when I realized how loud you truly are. I’ve never had the pleasure of hearing you from the bathroom before, but let me tell you… that’s a whole different experience all together. Let me put it this way- you REALLY should shut your windows.

Do you realize that your moaning and screaming echoes throughout the entire garage area? It bounces off all the walls and shoots straight into the windows of the other apartments. And do you realize that EVERY single apartment in this building surrounds the garage? This means that a vast majority of the units on this side can DEFINITELY hear you. Do you realize that even above the sounds of the rain and the sounds of some other guy coughing up his lungs while showering in a neighboring bathroom, I could still hear you loudest of all?

Do you realize that if I don’t know who you are (I still assume you are the people above me but I just can’t be 100% sure) then OTHER people might not know who you are either? We at least have the advantage of hearing your headboard to help usdecipher that you are either above us or next to us. But other people who hear your escapades through the windows surrounding the garage… they just don’t know. In fact, they have no clue if you are on the top floor, middle floor or bottom. All they can hear are your hoots and hollers. I must point out- no one else in this buiding is as loud as you are. You guys take the cake!

Do you know why this bothers me? Because you live too close to us. Personally, I don’t want there to be any chance that one of our neighbors might mistakenly think that those noises are coming from OUR apartment!! Seriously… how embarrassing would that be?

So while your shenanigans  do give us quite a laugh from time to time, can you please just tone it down or shut a window? It would be greatly appreciated!

Thank you for your time.

5 Responses to Dear Neighbors

  1. Jessica March 23, 2009 at 4:09 am #

    Yikes! I think I’d rather have my spider :s Thanks for the comment by the way. It WAS pretty scary. I actually thought I was hallucinating from the effects of sleep deprivation (thanks to that horrible assignment) and was a touch relieved when I realized that I wasn’t going crazy, and that there was in fact, a spider crawling up the wall.
    I totally understand about your not wanting people to think those ‘noises’ are emanating from YOUR apartment. That would be really awful.

  2. Jessica March 24, 2009 at 2:04 am #

    Hey Elsja,
    I’m in law at university of Sydney… it just so happens we covered public nuisance today in class… see what I am getting at lol? technically you could have a claim of action.

    Good luck!

    Jess

  3. Karen March 25, 2009 at 5:31 am #

    No no Jessica, then we’ll be like that other country with frivolous lawsuits abounding. I cant think of an apartment I’ve ever lived in where I didn’t hear the tenants next door. Suck it up, have a chat with them or look to move.

  4. elsja March 25, 2009 at 6:04 pm #

    Well Karen, that’s the problem… I don’t know who they are- so I can’t have a chat. Besides, that would be a pretty embarassing convo!

    It doesn’t really bother me except for the fact I don’t want people to think it’s us!!

    And… I REALLY think Jessica wasn’t being serious aobut the whole claim thing.

  5. Jessica March 25, 2009 at 7:58 pm #

    haha good call Elsja, the comment was meant to be tongue in cheek 🙂

    If someone were to bring something like that to court I would like to see the judge keep a straight face

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