Long but funny.

Many of you know the story of my creepy neighbor that hits on me at the gym. Well, for those of you who don’t- I have this creepy neighbor, probably mid 30s who hits on me at the gym. HAHA, ok so… today- it happened again.

The thing about my neighbor is that he doesn’t even know he’s my neighbor. Oh well no biggy there, not everyone knows their neighbors… but he’s lived around the corner the whole time I’ve lived here… and thats going on 20 years!

First instance – He hit on me last year right around Christmas time (2005). Came and told me how he couldn’t just walk by without saying hi to such a pretty girl… blah blah… I was clearly annoyed, but trying to be polite as i worked out. He stuck around for about 5 minutes which is a long time when you just want to work out and not talk to people. I kept trying to look up at the TV for him to get the hint and leave, but it took forever for that to happen. He asked if I wanted to hang out and this was before I had a boyfriend but I pulled some other bullshit excuse out of my ass on why I wasn’t interested. I was 25 at the time. I even told him that I was his neighbor (which I later realized was stupid because he could potentially come bug me) and he still didn’t recognize me. I told my dad when I got home and he explained that the guy had some mental problems or a brain injury or something… ok that explains the creepyness. You wouldnt know he was mentally challenged per se, but you can definitely tell he’s a little strange.

So instance number two… a few months later. This time I do have a boyfriend, so when I see him lurking around my area and finally creeping up to my machine, I was ready and prepared with the boyfriend ammo on the tip of my tounge. I think “what could he possibly say now? Is he going to try to convince me AGAIN to go out with him?” He starts off with the same schpeel… “I could’t walk by without saying hi because you’re just so pretty… blah blah.”

WHAT??? This guy seriously doesn’t remember saying that exact thing to me a few months earlier?? Clearly my dad was right- this guy isn’t all there. After a few minutes of him blabbing I explained that he had talked to me before. He all of a sudden acted like he remembered and said “ooohh… I remember you- let me guess- you have a boyfriend and you are 26.”

Yes and Yes… however the last time he talked to me, I was single and 25.

The woman next to me was really entertained by this guy because he was telling me that it’s good my boyfriend isn’t around right now because he doesn’t trust himself around pretty girls and some bullshit that made no sense but made him sound completely psycho. Me and the eliptical lady next to me just kinda kept looking at each other thinking… “is he for real?” Finally, he left.

The last few months, I have secretly enjoyed many moments at the gym where I witness poor unsuspecting girls get hit on by this guy. Seriously, it’s happened a lot and I’ve decided he has a thing for blondes, because they are always blondes. I always give a little chuckle and think… aww another girl has experienced my pain.

Well so today, I’m on the stair machine and out of the corner of my eye- I see him coming. OOOOH NO. there is no one else around so I just KNEW he was coming for me. I get my ipod and start messing with it to pretend I am just way too busy to talk. It didn’t help. He just walked up and stood there and eventually I had to acknowledge him.

Again, same intro from him. I kinda cut him off and just cut straight to the point… “you’ve talked to me before you know.” Then he explains that it must mean I’m even THAT much more beautiful for him to come up to me TWO times!

Um, try THREE buddy! He clearly doesn’t remember that I’m his neighbor, thank God. I’ll never mention that again! Then he started explaining how not everyone has what I have (yeah except for the 50 other girls per day that you annoy at the gym) and that I am so natural looking and have no body fat.

HAHA! Now i KNOW there is something wrong with his brain.

The best part is when he said “well, since I’ve talked to you before (elsja comment: and NOTHING has come out of it) that must mean you have a boyfriend or you are married.

I just said “yes” and then thought… the statement he just made makes it sound as if he thinks the only reason I wouldn’t date him is because I had a boyfriend. Hmm… a bit cocky if you ask me.

Anyways, I would be way more bitchy to this guy if I didn’t have the inside scoop on his head injury or whatever- I always want to be mean, but then I feel guilty because I don’t know for a fact what his deal is… but seriously- I wonder how many other girls he’s hounded multiple times without even realizing.

I wonder how long it will be before it happens again?


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