I just saw an ad on TV for the ASPCA and it showed all these injured and rescued animals. It played “In the Arms of an Angel” by Sara McLachlan. Seriously.. that made me want to cry.
For some reason, I don’t particularly LOVE animals- but hurt animals, or animals left alone all day, or animals who lose their parents (lion king, bambi, dumbo)… REALLY get to me! I really feel super guilty when my dog has to sleep by herself at night when my parents are gone. (I’d let her sleep with me, but she snores). Regardless, what is it about animals that tugs at my heart?? And why do people want to hurt them? It’s sad. I mean, I guess I feel like hurting birds sometimes because they are freaking obnoxious, but fluffy, furry animals are just so innocent and cute.
I remember very clearly that when I was little, I had the hardest time leaving my stuffed animals or picking ones to sit on my bed. If i picked one to sleep with, I would apologize to the others and I’d feel guilty that I didn’t pick them. Yes, I’m completely serious. I would lay there thinking “I know they don’t know that I didn’t pick them, but I feel bad” I just couldn’t get over the guilt that I was choosing one over the others.
That feeling… that is how I feel about animals. Like they just get so sad or something. This is the main reason I never want a pet. Not because I don’t want to clean up the mess (well, there’s that too), but mostly, I don’t want to live with the guilt if I have to leave it with a dogsitter for a week when I go on a trip or if I don’t play with it enough.
Oh and i just had a total epiphany… I’ve ALWAYS been indecisive! I know the last few years my indecisivness has been out of control but my difficulty in choosing has clearly existed my entire life. Even when I finally did make a choice when I was little, I just would lay there feeling guilty about it!!